There are certain behaviors and observations that just do not work as Twitter updates.
To wit:
"The plastic fork keeps catching on the bottom of the plastic container and spraying little bits of quinoa everywhere. Aim at clothes, or desk?"
It is nearly impossible to post about eating quinoa and not come across as snooty. Oh ho ho, I purchased this "cheesy quinoa with spinach" at the food co-op! Tee hee, observe as tiny flecks of this obscure grain anoint my sweater and desk chair! Note that I pointed the fork in the other direction — ha ha, oh I can barely catch my breath — and the same thing happened to my monitor!
Replacing the word "quinoa" with "food" is not an option. The dictum goes, "Never say 'pass the ketchup,' say 'pass the Heinz.'" Specifics are crucial. Revising quinoa as food changes the meaning from snob to slob, and that wasn't exactly the point of the post either. I gave up on the update without further attempts to endearingly spin my complex lunch experience.
So now you, and only you, nonexistent readers, know the truth. I like overpriced specialty health-store food, and I cannot eat something without also wearing it. I would say that contradiction makes me fascinating — if saying so didn't make me self centered.